A Truth About Self-Judgement
I was working with a mindfulness, self-compassion meditation this week when I realized that self judgement and a lack of self-compassion can be way subtler and more insidious than I ever thought. I’m not the kind of person who has a running dialogue in my head about how undeserving or unworthy I am. I do not consciously beat myself up.
I do however have my very own, special version of an inner beating: A super vigilant voice of perfectionism that runs me ragged.
It usually starts with a “should.” I “should” be further along in my new business. I “should” know more, read more, be more thoughtful, have more patience, eat less sugar, use my time better- the list is endless and it’s like having a constant judge in my head, evaluating how I’m doing in every area of my life. This constant evaluation is exhausting. It leads to despair, unhappiness, and frustration.
‘In my work cultivating self-compassion, I have become more mindful of this inner critic. Now this voice also has its good side. It keeps my standards high and motivates me to do more and work to be better. But when this voice becomes a harsh, negative judge, that is when I need to stop and practice self- compassion. I need to remind myself I am doing the best that I can in that moment and let the judgement go.
Take A Breath
I stop, take a breath, put both hands on my heart and remind myself to be patient- that things take time and that enjoying the journey of creation is as important as the destination. I remind myself I am fine exactly as I am and that I am doing the best I can in this moment. If you want to practice more self-compassion, try it for yourself next time you are feeling a little “less than.” Self- nurturing goes a long way towards cultivating a more joyful and present life. It helps us be more compassionate with and supportive to others as well. We are all in this together.